


A Slice Of Life

by Tygermama



Category: The Magnificent Seven (TV)
Genre: Gen, Humor, Mag7WriMo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-01-16
Updated: 2010-01-16
Packaged: 2017-10-06 08:37:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,894
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/51740
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tygermama/pseuds/Tygermama
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A day in which Chris is angry, Nathan is indignant, Ezra is sarcastic, JD is puzzled and Vin realizes he's just hangs out with these guys for the LOLZ</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Slice Of Life

**Author's Note:**

> written for the [](http://mag7wrimo.dreamwidth.org/profile)[**mag7wrimo**](http://mag7wrimo.dreamwidth.org/), using the cliche prompt, I didn't end up using any of the cliches listed in the comm user info, but I packed in as many as I could
> 
> Many thanks to farad for the beta.

"There's a cave up ahead. It's big enough to get us out of the rain, but the horses'll have to stay outside," Vin Tanner said tersely, pointing to the west. "You can find it through the coulee, about three miles from here. It's half way up the north side of the hill. I'm going to check our backtrail and catch up with you."

Chris nodded, too angry to speak. All he cared about was getting out of this pissing-down rain.

He pulled off the road and headed in the direction Vin had indicated, trusting the other men to follow where he led.

Ezra, JD and Nathan rode past Vin, all of them hunched against the persistent rain that had soaked them to the bone since their sudden departure from Nestor's Ford. Even the horses seemed subdued, sensing their riders' discontent.

Ezra was angry at being caught unawares. JD was confused, running the day's events over in his mind, trying to figure out what happened. Nathan was still seething from what he saw at the apothecary's and certain getting run out of town was somehow Ezra's fault.

Vin simply wanted to get dry before sorting this whole mess out. He had thought that they were going to ask around town, maybe get a lead on the cattle rustling in the territory. But he had found the others riding out of town before much more than an hour had gone by. And he could see Chris was just plain pissed.

*** *** ***

It took longer than Chris liked to find the cave. Its entrance was obscured by the pine trees growing on the hillside, but at least there would be an easy source of firewood and some shelter for their mounts.

"JD, Ezra, you take care of the horses." Chris ordered, "Nathan, you're with me. We'll check out the cave and then look for firewood and water." Chris grunted as he lowered his stiff legs off his horse. He tossed the reins to Ezra, pulled his canteens out and stalked into the cave. Nathan looped his reins around the closest branch and followed Chris, giving Ezra a glare as he passed.

"Ezra, why's Nathan mad at you?" JD asked as he started taking the bags and saddle off his horse. "It's not like it was your fault we got run out of town. It's mine." JD got out his curry brush and got to work, looking anxiously at Ezra. "When do you think Chris'll stop being mad at me?"

Ezra looked puzzled for a second and then grinned, "What did you do to get us all run out of town, JD? Not following in Buck's footsteps, I hope." Ezra knew why _he_ had been run out of town, but he wanted to hear JD's story before making any confessions of his own. He carefully got down from his horse, trying to stay out of reach of Chaucer's snapping mouth.

His trusty steed tended to get discommoded when out in the rain. He carefully brushed a chip from his shoulder and began tending to his horse.

"Well, Chris told you to go to the saloon and get any information you could, right? Nathan was heading off to the apothecary and Chris took off to hunt for the sheriff, so I figured I'd watch your back," JD said, finishing with his horse and starting on Nathan's. "So I followed you to the saloon and I was standing at the bar minding my own business when this woman, a saloon girl, just starts talking with me."

Ezra chuckled, "The apple doesn't fall from the tree. Does it, JD?"

"It wasn't like that! She came up to me! I didn't start nothing! She was old and had a squint…" JD sighed. He looked to the heavens, as if for guidance and then sighed again.

"Promise you won't tell Buck?"

Ezra chuckled, "Does it really matter if I promise to say nothing? He's going to get it out of you sooner or later." He nimbly slipped out of range when Chaucer tried to steal his hat. "So your pursuer wasn't exactly the pinnacle of feminine beauty, was she?"

"No! She was missing a few teeth and her perfume made me sneeze." JD grunted when Nathan's horse butted him in the shoulder. "Turns out she is the shorter deputy's favorite girl."

Ezra shook his head and said, "So the good deputy took exception to this and threw you out of town? Ah, JD, your animal magnetism is beginning to be such a curse."

"Shut up, Ezra," JD said without much heat. "I just feel bad, screwing this up for everyone, you know?"

Ezra sighed, looking over his distraught friend. "JD, it is not completely your fault that we got run out of town. So don't feel so bad. My actions in the saloon played their own part in our summary ejection from Nestor's Ford." He said. _Why, oh why am I telling him the truth?_ Ezra finished brushing out Chaucer and grabbed Pony's reins. Chaucer managed to snag Ezra's hat off his head while he was distracted and tossed it up into a tree.

"So much for my trusty steed," Ezra muttered under his breath. He quickly removed his jacket and rolled up his sleeves, resigned to getting soaked to the bone. He pulled himself up onto the pine's lower branches and carefully began to climb.

JD curiously watched Ezra, absentmindedly grabbing Pony's reins before the horse could wander off. "What did you do, Ezra?"

"I merely followed our fearless leader's instructions. I found the saloon and set about acquiring information in my usual manner." Ezra cautiously balanced himself on two branches and reached out to grab the one his hat was hanging off on and began to shake it. His hat dislodged itself and fell to the ground with a splat. Ezra winced, _How long is it going to take to get all that mud out of my hat?_

JD nodded, moving under the tree to better keep an eye on Ezra. "I saw that. You started a card game with those two funny dressed guys. They kinda looked like you, Ez."

Ezra was incensed, "Are you saying that you think I'm funny-looking, JD?" Ezra shifted to glare down at JD when his foot slipped. Ezra blindly reached out and managed to grab a branch with both hands before he fell too far. He was left dangling above the ground.

JD let go of Pony's reins, "I got ya, Ez!" He grabbed onto Ezra's ankles and tried to guide him to the ground, not hearing the branch starting to crack.

"JD, what are you doing?" Ezra exclaimed as he felt JD pulling on him. He stared in horror as the branch he was holding began to shear away from the tree.

Ezra fell on JD.

JD slipped in the mud, tumbling both of them to the ground.

Ezra shook his head and tried to get his bearings. He looked up just as Chaucer came up to him and deposited his hat on his face with a wet splat. "I'm starting to think you're spending entirely too much time with Peso. Noble steed, indeed," He muttered, pushing himself off JD and getting to his feet.

Ezra winced when he looked down at his friend, still lying prone in the mud. The branch must have clipped JD upside the head, his face was scratched all down the right side and he had some pine needles in his hair. "Thank you for your assistance, JD," he said as he helped JD up.

JD glared then laughed as he noticed the mud dripping down Ezra's face. "Well, to answer your question, Ezra. Yes, right now I do think you're funny looking."

Ezra felt annoyed. He took his hat off with a huff and started wiping at the mud, managing to 'accidentally' splatter JD in the process.

"Hey! Cut it out! I didn't mean it like that, Ezra. I just mean they were trying to dress all fancy like you, but it didn't look right." JD brushed off the mud and picked up Pony's reins, holding them out to Ezra. "I'll start getting the saddles into the cave while you get Pony settled."

"Thank you, JD," Ezra frowned at his hat and hung it on another branch, out of Chaucer's reach. He took a minute to stand out in the rain, allowing it to rinse the worst of the mud off. "Well, they do say the clothes make the man. The Folsom brothers were attempting to present themselves as gentlemen and failing quite miserably."

JD snorted, "You mean they looked like clowns." He lifted his and Nathan's saddles onto his shoulders and made off for the cave.

Ezra gave Pony's nose a pat, "That's what they call 'truth in advertising.'" He quickly unloaded and brushed down the black horse. JD had come back for the saddle bags when he stopped short and turned to face Ezra.

"You never did finish explaining why _you_ got run out of town, Ezra," JD said, picking up the saddlebags and putting them under a tree where they would get less soaked. He hunkered down beside them, looking at Ezra expectantly.

"The bartender threw me out. Something about saving my life." Ezra loosely hobbled Pony, slung his bags over his shoulder and grabbed the saddles, hanging his hat off his saddlehorn. There was no way he was putting that back on his head until it had been properly cleaned.

Ezra struggled briefly to gain his balance and then headed into the cave. "Apparently the Folsom brothers are boorish clowns who shoot people who beat them at poker. Clem now throws prospective competitors out as a matter of course. He considers it a public service."

"So you were winning at poker and the bartender threw you out?" JD asked as they entered the cave. "I thought you were supposed to be getting information on the cattle rustling."

"I wasn't winning, JD. I had barely finished dealing the first hand when Clem made quite a show out of dragging me into the back of his establishment and out the back door. And poker is how I gather information. It's amazing what people let slip when their minds are on other things, like their money." Ezra set down his saddle and bags on one side of the cave then walked over to the opposite side and put down Chris' things.

Ezra turned around just in time to catch an armful of sticks thrust at him by Nathan. "You're the one who got us stuck out in the rain, Ezra. You can start the fire." Nathan ground out, stalking over to where JD had set down his gear. He grabbed his bedroll and started laying it out. "If you boys are smart, you'll get to laying out your wet gear so it stands some chance of drying. As it is, we're all gonna catch our death."

Chris was close behind him, carrying his own armload of firewood and two full canteens. He snorted and said, "I don't remember that apothecary, Perkins, running into the sheriff's office to bitch about Ezra, Nathan. As I recall, he was carrying on about 'some uppity nigger' criticizing his stock. He demanded your 'immediate expulsion from the town on a rail, if necessary'. So you absolutely sure all this is Ezra's fault?" He dropped his canteens and firewood and rummaged around in his saddlebags and took out a flannel shirt. He took off his duster and started to change.

Nathan sat down on his bedroll with a thump, staring at Chris in disbelief. "What? You never said nothing about that, Chris."

Chris leveled a glare at the healer as he buttoned up his flannel shirt. "You didn't notice me getting escorted into the livery by the deputy? That would be because you were too busy muttering under your breath about the poisons Perkins was selling to notice what was going on around you. Then Ezra showed up saying we needed to leave 'post haste' and then we found JD coming around the corner looking like a hunted rabbit."

"Hey!" JD shouted.

"Shut up, JD," Chris said, his eyes still on Nathan.

Ezra dropped the firewood he was holding and started taking off his vest and shirt. "So I'm the one who got us stuck in the rain, am I?" Ezra's voice was laced with bitter humor. He fished a small towel out of his bags and started drying himself off, keeping his back to Nathan.

JD looked from Ezra to Nathan to Chris and sighed. He decided against saying anything and got to drying himself off.

Nathan was staring at Chris, his mouth hanging open. "But, Perkins is cheating those people! He's not selling medicine! It's just watered down red-eye with weeds in it! I was just telling the truth! Those people deserve to know what they were putting in their bodies!"

Ezra snorted and laughed cynically, "So your first impulse was to call the man a charlatan in front of all his customers, people he has been treating, however speciously, for _years_, people he has to _live_ with, and, what then? Did you expect the good people of Nestor's Ford to raise you up on their shoulders and throw you a parade for unmasking the man who has been cheating them? The man who has been putting their lives on the line with his false medicines? Did you think Perkins would do nothing? That he would admit his guilt, make restitution and promise to walk the straight and narrow forever more? Frankly, I'm surprised they didn't try to kill Perkins right there and then. Or that you didn't get lynched again."

Ezra finished buttoning his shirt and shook out his tan jacket before putting it on. His every move was precise, angry. "You are one of the most naïve people I have ever met." Ezra muttered. He shrugged his shoulders to adjust his coat and then knelt down to start the fire.

"What? You boys ain't even started the fire yet?" Vin sounded pissed. The fact that he was soaked head to toe in dirty water and mud may have had something to do with his mood.

"The fire shall be lit momentarily, Mr. Tanner, never fear." Ezra didn't even look up.

JD danced nervously from foot to foot. "Vin, you want me to look after Peso for you?"

Vin shook his head, mud and water flying. "No. I got my bags and saddle off that flea-bitten glue factory. He can go straight back to hell where he came from for all I care. The fucker."

Nathan rushed over and started checking Vin for injuries. "What the hell happened to you? You get thrown? Did you hit your head?"

"Git offa me!" Vin batted Nathan away, ending up covering Nathan's arms and chest in mud too. "I didn't get thrown. Peso slipped and fell when we were crossing the goddamn creek. I didn't hit my head but I will hit you if you don't stop poking at me, dammit!"

Vin dropped his saddle and started routing through his saddle bags. "Goddamn water soaked every fucking thing, shit!" He threw down his bag in disgust.

"I got a spare clean shirt you can use, Vin," JD said, pulling out a white, homespun shirt.

Ezra stood up, dusting off his pants and hands. "I have some spare socks."

Nathan took off his jacket and glared at Vin. "I got some pants. Just try to keep them clean. Since you don't need any doctoring, right?"

"Never mind that, I'm fine. I was only an hour behind you jackasses and as soon as I get within spitting distance of the town, you all are riding back out again. So what did you all do that we're here in this goddamn fuckin' cave instead of Nestor's Ford tuckin' into some hot grub?" Vin asked, his voice a low hiss. He punctuated every other word with sharp gestures that sent more mud splattering around the cave.

"I never promised you a rose garden, Tanner," Chris said, eyes glittering with dark humor. "You don't like this cave, nobody's making you stay in it."

"Fuck you, Larabee," Vin said, struggling to get his sopping chaqueta off.

The four of them watched in amazement as Vin struggled out of his soaked clothes, every item being flung to the ground with a splat and a muttered curse. The curses grew more creative and louder as the process went on. Vin used words that had the others very impressed, many not in English, but clearly Vin was cussin' out the entire world in grand style.

Chris' smile was slowly becoming less angry and more amused. Ezra was smiling with delight and noting particular phrases for later use. Nathan was frowning, looking at the bruising that was being revealed and wincing occasionally when Vin used a Spanish word or two he recognized. And JD had his hat over his face, tears running down his cheeks and his shoulders shaking uncontrollably.

When Vin realized he had managed to pull his pants down without removing his boots first and was now stuck, he growled in frustration and started up again, exclusively cursing in Kiowa and Comanche this time. He lost his balance and landed with a thump on his ass.

JD fell down with laughter and Ezra leaned up against the cave wall, wisely turning his back to the spectacle. He knew Vin would not forget being so openly laughed at and his ideas about retribution in the practical joke area were not something Ezra wanted to experience if he didn't have to. Although he did think that getting to see the normally unflappable tracker be so discombobulated might worth any number of annoying jokes. It wasn't as if Ezra had a mustache to fear for, as Buck had found out last month. Ezra had thought someone had shoot his dog the way Buck carried on. _No, on second thought, it was definitely better to not incur Vin's wrath or his sense of whimsy._

"Vin! Where the hell do you think you're going?" Nathan exclaimed. Ezra turned around just in time to watch Vin march stark naked, except for his hat, out into the rain. He had a bit of soap in one hand that he used to try to clean off the rather woebegone looking slouch hat.

"I'm washing off, Nathan! What's it look like?" Vin said, a disgusted look on his face. After a few minutes Vin gave up on his hat and managed to scrape off the worst of the mud clinging to his hair and body. JD handed Vin a towel as he stomped back over to the fire, and he started vigorously drying off.

Nathan opened his mouth to say something. Vin looked up and glared at him. Nathan shuddered and decided to save his lecture for later.

"Socks." Came the terse demand. Ezra gave him the socks. Pants and shirt were handed over promptly and soon Vin was dressed, in a shirt that was slightly short in the arms, although the dropping of the wider shoulders made up for the lack of length, and pants that were slightly too long in the leg and had to be held up with a spare piece of strapping. The socks were a perfect fit from what they could see of Vin's toes, peeking out from under the trousers.

"You know," Chris drawled, his voice filled with mischief, "Adam sometimes played dress up in my clothes…"

Vin sat down beside the fire and got to work cleaning his boots. "I know where you live, cowboy," he said evenly, not even looking up.

"I happen to have an extra flask of scotch on me. Would you gentlemen care for a libation?" Ezra said, trying not to snicker at the vision Chris had painted.

JD pulled his saddlebag over to the fire. "I remembered to restock my supplies before… Well, before we left the town. I'll make some bacon and beans if Nathan makes the biscuits."

The cave remained silent, except for JD and Nathan whispering to each other as they cooked. Ezra made the rounds, offering everyone a drink from his flask.

Vin stayed where he was, carefully examining his gear for damage and trying to get the mud out of everything. The tense set of his jaw and stiff shoulders made it clear he was still angry.

_Yup,_ Chris thought, puffing on a cheroot, _he's still as mad as a rattler, or a wet hen, in this case._ He snorted out a laugh and covered it up with a cough. He remembered what Vin had done to Buck too.

"Supper's ready," JD said softly, passing out plates to everyone.

Vin moved over to the side of the cave, sat down with his back to the wall and started to pick at his food with a deep sigh. JD sat down beside him and looked at his food.

"Something wrong, Vin?" JD asked apprehensively. "I thought I did a pretty good job this time. At least the beans aren't crunchy."

Ezra chortled and said, "Yes, that was a very interesting culinary experiment. As I recall, you were as sick as a dog."

JD sighed. "I never said I knew anything about cooking. I told Inez what happened and she gave me some pointers, so it won't happen again. Go on, Vin, taste it." He said imploringly.

"You should eat, Vin. Help keep you from catching cold," Nathan piped up from where he was sitting on his bedroll, eyes on his plate.

Vin sighed again and took a few bites without enthusiasm. "It's not bad, JD. Better than before by a long shot, that's for sure."

JD nodded happily and tucked in to his own food.

Chris eyed Vin skeptically. "I've never known you to turn up your nose to grub, Vin."

Vin glared and Chris glared back.

Vin shook his head. "This ain't bad, but I was looking forward to getting into Nestor's Ford tonight."

"Why?" Chris asked.

"Oh, Vin. I am sorry," Ezra said at the same time.

Chris and Nathan looked at Ezra, both clearly puzzled.

"It's Thursday." Ezra said, looking at Vin sympathetically.

JD looked up, face pale, "Oh, my god. I completely forgot. Vin, I am so sorry, next time we're out this way, I promise I'll make it up to you."

Vin nudged JD with his shoulder. "Don't matter none. There'll be other Thursdays."

"Will one of you tell me what you're going on about? You're acting like someone died," Chris said, getting more annoyed by the second.

Vin sighed and looked up at Chris, a hangdog expression on his face. "Thursday is Chicken Pot Pie night at the Bluebird Café. Best damn pot pie in the territory."

Chris and Nathan both stared at Vin, speechless.

"Are you sure you didn't hit your head, Vin?" Nathan asked as he got up. He walked over to Vin and crouched down in front of him, trying to look into his eyes.

Chris just shook his head.

"I didn't hit my head, Nathan." Vin growled out, "You best back off before I shove this fork up your nose."

"Look here now, I've eaten at that Bluebird Café and the food ain't that good, so you best tell me if you're hurt." Nathan reached out, intending to check Vin's head for bumps.

Vin pushed him away and brandished his fork. "You take that back!"

"Now, now, gentlemen, there's no need for violence," Ezra cut in smoothly, grabbing Vin by the arm. "If I recall correctly, Nathan has been sent to Nestor's Ford twice and both times were on Mondays."

"Oh," Vin said, like that explained everything. "Sorry to hear that, Nathan. It's a damn shame."

"Well, I've only been there once and didn't eat at all, so what the hell are you three on about?" Chris demanded.

"The Bluebird Café is the finest eating establishment in the territory." Ezra said, watching Vin as he sat back down, making sure the tracker didn't change his mind about stabbing Nathan. "But the regular cook takes Sundays and Mondays off and the quality of the food suffers dramatically in her absence. I usually try to time my visits for Tuesdays."

"Stuffed pork chop night," Vin and JD said together, wistfully.

Chris snorted, "The food can't possibly be that good."

Vin, JD and Ezra all glared at him.

"We ain't lyin', Chris," JD said, picking at his beans. "I know I can't cook worth a damn but Mrs. Abercrombie could have any man she wanted after one taste of her bread pudding."

Vin moaned sorrowfully, "Will you hush, JD? I wasn't even thinking about dessert till you brought it up."

"Sorry, Vin." JD gave Vin's shoulder a consoling pat.

"Mrs. Abercrombie? That short, fat lady with the scowl?" Chris said trying to remember the details of the one time he had seen the woman. "Wasn't she the one that ordered in something special through Conklin and scared the pants off the man when he tried to overcharge her?"

The boys all started chuckling as they remembered the last time Mrs. Abercrombie had come to Four Corners.

"Hell, I remember her," Nathan said, his smile shining. "I'm the one who had to patch up Conklin after she beat on him with one of his own brooms!"

"That was the funniest thing I'd seen in weeks!" JD choked out between giggles. Conklin had never pretended he liked the seven and the sight of him being chased down the main street by a large, angry woman wielding a broom was one all the lawmen cherished.

Vin wiped the tears from his eyes. "Yep, she's a firecracker, all right. Easy to see why Mr. Abercrombie is so skinny. Gotta take a lot of hard work, keeping a woman like her happy."

Chris eyed Vin. "You sweet on her a little, Vin?"

"No! Sweet on her flapjacks, maybe," Vin said. "But Mrs. Abercrombie is probably more woman than I could handle."

"And she has no daughters to court, either. Just sons," Ezra said, mopping up his plate with a bit of biscuit. Everyone looked at him.

"I asked," Ezra said, shrugging. "It's her sister-in-law who cooks on the days she takes off."

"If you call that cooking," Nathan said, shuddering as he walked back to his bedroll and started finishing his food. "That fish was awful, the potatoes were raw and the carrots were crunchy."

"Yep," Vin said, nodding wisely. "You never go there on Sundays or Mondays. Just a waste of food and money."

"My ma once said that the way to a man's heart is through his stomach, I never used to believe her," JD said. "But then I remember her clam chowder."

"Beignets," Ezra said, his eyes far away.

"What are they?" Vin asked.

Ezra sighed, "Deep-fried heaven on a plate. With chocolate sauce, preferably. Haven't had any since the last time I was in New Orleans."

Chris was about to tease his friends about their food fixations when a flash of memory overtook him. "My grandma's pork pie. My brother and I used to fight over it. Until my dad ate the last piece when we weren't looking. After that, we learned to share."

"Collard greens with pot licker," Nathan said, playing with his fork. "And grits. The food's just about the only thing I miss from the South."

Ezra sighed sadly. "One of my aunts taught me to make her chicken and sausage gumbo. I'd gladly make it for you gentlemen but I have yet to find anyone who grows okra in this territory."

Nathan gave Ezra a look out of the corner of his eye. "You know how to cook?"

"There are times where I have been loath to trust the preparation of my food to others and so I made sure I could provide for myself in that regard." Ezra said mildly.

"Or more like, you were stuck in the middle of nowhere with no one else to do the cooking," Chris said from his seat at the mouth of the cave.

Ezra smiled. "I can't deny that. I've found most men of my acquaintance have learned the rudiments of cookery out of desperation."

JD pushed his plate away and leaned back into the wall. "Makes sense, I know I wouldn't cook if I didn't have to."

"Necessity is the mother of invention," Nathan mused. "I can't remember who said that, but I think it's true."

"Now that you all have gone and got me hungry, you finally gonna tell me why we're out here, instead of in the Bluebird?" Vin asked, stretching out his feet toward the fire.

"Well, JD here proved to be irresistibly attractive to the favorite paramour of one of Nestor's Ford's deputies," Ezra said, eyes twinkling merrily.

"Hey! I am not irresistible!" JD exclaimed, blushing furiously.

The others stared at JD, taking in the wild hair, sticking out in every direction, the scratches down the side of his face and bit of sauce from the beans at the corner of his mouth. Everyone started to laugh. When JD's brain caught up to his ears, he threw a pebble at Ezra and started laughing too. "You know what I mean! She was scary! Kept looking at me like I was a steak!"

Chris shook his head. "Some men like it when women look at them like that, you know."

JD shuddered. "I think that depends on the woman. And besides, Nathan got tossed out for calling the town doc a fake. It wasn't just me!"

"I was just…" Nathan started off self-righteously, but he stopped himself and continued more calmly, "I perhaps could have timed things better, instead of going off on the man like that. And I shouldn't have assumed us getting run out of town was all Ezra's fault. Sorry, Ezra."

Ezra clapped his hand over his heart and said, "Why, Mr. Jackson, I may faint dead away from shock! An apology and an admission I was right, all in the same day!"

"Ezra…" Chris began to growl out.

Ezra's eyes never left Nathan's face as he waved Chris off. "I promise I won't tell anyone if you don't want me to." He said, dimples flashing.

Nathan tried to glare at Ezra and ended up laughing. "Standish, you are full of crap."

Vin leaned over and poked Ezra in the ribs. "Taking up the slack since Buck ain't here, are ya?"

"Mr. Tanner! What a horrible thing to say! I don't think I could ever master the art of bullshit the way Buck has." Ezra poked Vin back.

Vin hissed as Ezra accidentally hit a bruise. "Speakin' of ol'Buck, wonder what he's doing right about now?"

JD looked smug and said, "I know what he isn't doing."

Nathan snorted. "Damn fool coulda killed himself. When's he gonna learn to stop jumping out windows?" He said.

"Never, this is Buck we're talking about. Besides, in all the years I've known him, that's only about the third time or so he hurt himself making one of his grand escapes." Chris said, puffing on his cheroot.

"He broke three ribs and his ankle. I think it's time he started seriously thinking on settling down." Nathan said, still picking at his food.

"Well, Inez did say she'd consider it, if Buck got gelded first," Vin said, smirking. Remembering Inez shoot Buck down never got old.

"It must be quite galling for our resident ladies man to be out of commission right now, considering Josiah's recent luck in love." Ezra said, sipping his coffee.

"That Widow Colbert is quite a lady," JD said, setting his empty plate aside. "She makes great cookies too."

Vin groaned. "Can we please stop talkin' 'bout food?"

"Sorry, Vin," JD said, smirking and not really looking all that apologetic.

"Okay, Ezra, what did you do to get run out of town?" Vin asked, pointedly turning away from JD.

Ezra sighed and said, "Clem, the bartender at the Snake Eyes Saloon got tired of the Folsom brothers filling anyone who bests them at poker with lead. He's decided to throw out anyone who sits down to a game with them. In the interest of saving their lives, of course. Had nothing to do with the fact that he got tired of cleaning up the blood and patching the holes in his walls."

"How does he know who the good players are?" Vin asked, brow furrowed. "He just throws out everyone who sits down with them?"

"Every single player. It's a travesty. I didn't even get to play one hand. I had just finished dealing the cards." Ezra shook his head in disbelief. "But Clem did let me know, before he threw me out, that he overheard the Folsoms talking about meeting someone at the Hannigan farmstead. He thinks that the Folsoms are the rustlers and the farm may be where they have been keeping the stolen cattle. I would have to agree with his assessment. The Folsoms have to be getting their money somehow and since they were disowned by their father and their poker playing skills are an embarrassment to the game, rustling makes sense."

"And you didn't say anything about this before because?" Chris asked, glaring at Ezra from underneath his hat.

Ezra glared back. "Because if I said two words to you earlier you would have shot me and wouldn't that just have been the perfect ending to the perfect day?"

"So let me get this straight," Vin said, ignoring the pissing contest entirely. "JD got thrown outta town 'cause he's too cute for his own good…"

JD blushed and pulled his hat down on his head.

"Nathan got thrown out for telling off the doc guy - you never did say what the man did to set you off, Nathan."

Nathan shrugged and looked defiant.

"And you got thrown out of the saloon before you even did anything at all, Ezra?" Vin asked, sounding incredulous.

"Not the first time that's happened, I'll bet," Chris said, almost too softly to hear.

Ezra pointedly ignored him and started cleaning the dried mud off his hat. "At least we have an idea where to start looking for the rustlers."

Vin looked at Chris thoughtfully. "And where were you when all this was going down, Cowboy?" he asked.

Chris innocently said, "I was talking to the sheriff. Like I said I would."

Everyone else in the cave stared at Chris. He must have done something. Chris Larabee was a lot of things, but innocent was not one of them.

"What did you do?" Vin asked, smiling.

"The sheriff decided he didn't need to answer any of my questions, so I may have had a few words with him about how he ran his town… and his hat… and his mustache… And I may have laid him out with one punch. It's not like I shot him." Chris glared at his men, daring them to refute his logic.

"I was only one hour behind ya'll. One hour. And all four of you got thrown out of town for four separate reasons?" Vin pinched the bridge of his nose.

"You guys are really lucky you're all funny 'cause you sure as shit ain't smart," Vin said, laughing so hard his whole frame shook.


End file.
